Sexuality of Muslim Premarried and Unmarried

Chapter Seven
Sexuality of the Muslim Premarried and Unmarried

Introduction

In this chapter is addressed the need for the companionship of the opposite sex of the single Muslim man and woman of any age. Single people, by definition, are either the premarried, i.e., those who have never been married and are waiting for their first marriage, or unmarried, i.e., those who were married before and have become divorced or widowed (or somehow separated from their spouses). Of course, I am speaking of both men and women. The premarried may be in the state in which they are both by their choice—as for instance, when they want to finish their schooling and training for a career first—as well as on account of the lack of economic and financial means to marry. In either case, their first marriage is being delayed. Of course, there are also those premarried who both want eagerly to be married as well as have the necessary means to marry, but are unable to find a suitable person or one of their or their parents’ liking to marry. The unmarried, both men and women, include those who are in the state in which they are for a chiefly two reasons, viz., divorce from the spouse or the death of the spouse (assuming that a divorced or widowed man had only one wife). Then there are those who may be physically separated from their spouse for good, bad or indifferent, and/or voluntary or involuntary, reasons. Whatever we may think or however we may judge the matter and the Muslim men and women and the reasons for their being single persons, the fact is that these persons, too, have needs for sexual gratification and the companionship of the opposite sex. This is a very, very serious problem for them, as individual men and women, but also, indeed, more so, to the society as a whole.

Let me restate the essential view of sexuality in Islam by reemphasizing that Islam has a wholly positive view of sexuality and encourages sexual intercourse. A famous Hadith of the Prophet is one in which he said: "A man is recompensed for the sexual act he performs with his wife," and when some of the surprised listeners asked the Apostle of God: "Is the person rewarded for satisfying his passions?" the Prophet answered: "Do you not see that if he were to satisfy it in a prohibited manner he would be committing a sin?" So if he satisfies it in a lawful manner he will be recompensed."¹⁰⁷ (I take it that the same applies to a Muslim man’s satisfying his passion with his slave girl, captive of war, or concubine as well, because sexual intercourse with any of them does not fall in the category of "a prohibited manner.")

Qutb, from whom I have quoted above, goes on to say:

This is why repression will never originate under the rule of Islam. If young people feel the urge of the sexual instinct there is no evil in that, and they need not regard the sexual instinct as a dirty, repulsive feeling.

What Islam requires of the young people in this respect, is to control their passions without repressing them, to control them willingly and consciously, that is, to suspend their satisfaction until the suitable time. According to Freud, suspension of the performance of the sexual act is not repression. Unlike repression, temporary suspension …for hours, days, years as the need may be…of the performance of the sexual instinct does not overtax the nerves nor does it lead to complexes and psychological disorders.¹⁰⁸

The only question the above statement by Qutb—and he speaks for the vast majority, if not all of orthodox, traditionalist, and fundamentalist Muslims—raises in my mind, as to the validity of his construction of Muslim sexuality and its efficacy in our

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time, is whether it would prove to be a correct view of sexuality when and if Muslim young men and young women have "to suspend their satisfaction until the suitable time," i.e., their first marriage, which may not arrive for as many as fifteen, twenty years after reaching puberty. We all have to learn to control and/or sublimate our sexual drive for a few or several years in the interest of self-development, society, and civilization, but abstinence for a decade or two is quite something else. If this were a desirable state of being, Islam should just as well have sanctioned celibacy, which it has not. It is sexual deprivation over ten, twenty years after puberty that I see as a problem.

The Prophet’s Solution to the Problem

Let us recall that it was to solve the problem of the sexual deprivation of the Companions, soldiers, and other men in the army of the mujahideen of Prophet Muhammad, physically separated from their wives and concubines and female slaves left at home—Muhammad himself always had a wife or two of his to accompany him on his tour of military expeditions—that he permitted his men to contract mutah, or temporary marriages for pleasure only, in the manner in which the commanders of the American armed forces grant furlough to their soldiers to go to the nearby town and get drunk and laid or lay all the women available for money in the bars and night clubs of the town. On one of the earliest military expeditions, the Prophet was approached by his men in which they grieved to him that they did not know what to do, faced with sexual deprivation on account of being away from their home base. One report of it in the Hadith, the record of the actions, decisions, and saying of the Prophet Muhammad, as narrated by Abdullah bin Masud:

We used to go on Ghazwat [military expeditions] with the Messenger of Allah, and we did not take our women with us. We asked (the Prophet) if we could get ourselves castrated. The Messenger of Allah refused us to do so and allowed us to marry women by giving her clothes for a certain period.¹⁰⁹

Doi comments: "Those whose faith was still weak prove [sic—I am sure he means used] to commit adultery on Jihad or Ghazwat. Those who had strong Iman [Islamic faith] expressed the desire to get castrated in order to curb their passion."¹¹⁰

This is a truly extra-ordinary Hadith, or Tradition. Both the Prophet and his men considered the availability of sexual gratification so urgent a need that the repression and/or sublimation of the sexual drive for the weeks while they, i.e., the men, were a way from their wives, concubines, and slave girls, was considered out of the question. Under the circumstances, mutah, or temporary marriage for pleasure only, which had been a prevalent practice in Arabia and which Islam accepted and made a part of the Muslim sex ethic, too, was the only alternative. By permitting mutah, Prophet Muhammad showed, on the one hand, understanding, compassion, and realism for the safeguarding and maximization of the welfare of his Companions, soldiers, and other men in his party of mujahideen, or warriors, in behalf of Islam and, on the other hand, kept the gratification of their sexuality within the bounds of the sexual morality of Islam. We can be certain that the solution that he applied to the problem maintained, even increased the morale of his troops. I am certain, too, that it also sustained and strengthened the faith of the mujahideen, as against those whose faith was weak and who, therefore, engaged in adultery, as Doi has remarked above in his comment on the Tradition under reference.

The Development of Muslim Thinking on Sexuality

Prophet Muhammad is reported in the Hadith to have said that he loved three things, viz., perfumes, prayer, and women. By women, I take it; he meant sex with women. At any rate, he fully understood, realized, and appreciated the need for normal, natural, and regular sexual gratification as a biological, emotional, and spiritual necessity in a well-rounded, happy, and fulfilled life. In this he was absolutely right. Human sexuality is an essential part of the ontology of being human. God, too, wants human beings to be sexually satisfied. All his prophets and messengers were sexual beings in the ordinary sense of the word, with the exception of Jesus, whom, however, God mercifully raised to heaven alive as a young man, so that he did not have to endure his celibacy for long.

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I mentioned above the Hadith, or Tradition, in which the Prophet granted permission to his Companions and soldiers and other men in his army to contract mutah, or temporary marriages for pleasure, which permission, I am certain, was availed of by both married, premarried, and unmarried men. I am only surprised that these men readily found women who were ready, willing, and able to offer themselves for sexual intercourse with the men in the Prophet’s army for a charge in cash or kind. But they satisfied the sexual need of the men. The point of it is that the Prophet permitted it and a real and urgent human problem was solved. In the absence of the method of solving the problem that the Prophet used—there was nothing new about it because it had been prevalent in Arabia from times immemorial—there might perhaps have been more of homosexuality than, reported, existed in Arabia at the time. The Prophet’s choice and approval of mutah, or temporary marriage for pleasure, kept the sexuality of his men both within the bounds of nature as well as Islam.

The important moral lesson from this Tradition seems to be that the sexuality and the regular, normal, and natural gratification of all those who are separated from their wives and slave girls, the premarried and/or the unmarried, and/or single for whatever reason, among Muslim men is a serious matter for the Muslim community and its religious, moral, and spiritual leaders to be concerned about and, therefore, to do something about, if the community wants seriously to prevent the moral corruption of the separated, premarried, unmarried, and single men. (Let us, for the moment, defer the question of the sexuality of women in the similar predicament.)

The Consequences of Sexual Deprivation over a Period

Indeed, Islam gives due recognition to the possibility and potentiality of the physical, emotional, psychosomatic, moral, spiritual, and social problems that can result from the sexual frustration and deprivation of the individual—male or female—over a period, especially over a long period. Muslim interpreters of the Islamic view of human sexuality are even mindful of the intensity and quality of the sexual satisfaction that may be adversely affected by such sanctioned practices as coitus interruptus, or the denial of the ejaculation of semen inside the vagina on account of the withdrawal of the penis just before the resolution of sexual intercourse. B.F. Musallam writes:

We notice that one of the last rights to be tampered with, given the necessity of contraception, was the right to sex, albeit legitimate sex. But the range of legitimate sex in Islamic religious morality was wide: within marriage it was not bound by procreative purpose, and it encompassed concubinage as well. The point can be driven home most economically, however, when we appreciate the fact that certain Muslim jurists, including some of the most "orthodox" Hanbalis, were able to permit masturbation (al-‘istimna’ bi-yad). It is true that they permitted it only because of their greater fear of zina, illegitimate intercourse [unlawful sexual intercourse: adultery, fornication, sodomy, bestiality, etc.]. They believed masturbation to be lawful in the absence of a legitimate partner to satisfy sexual lust. Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, the founding authority of the school of law that bears his name, taught that masturbation was licit especially for the prisoner, the traveler, and the indigent, lonely person who did not have access to a lawful sex partner. Jurists who followed him permitted a woman alone without a husband to resort to masturbation to satisfy her needs.

For jurists who thought along these lines, masturbation was licit even during Ramadan, the great month of fasting when believers abstained during daylight from the pleasures of the flesh, primarily food and sex. The medieval culture and its medical authorities believed that the accumulation of semen in the testicles could result in serious injury to the body if not released. The jurists who discussed this problem clearly stated that it was better for a person to masturbate than perish, and they likened his condition to that of the believer who, in case of illness, was allowed to eat and break his fast.¹¹¹

Musallam adds the following quotation from Ibn Qayyim to the above statements:

In the case of a woman without a husband, and who suffers from sexual deprivation, some [Hanbali jurists] have said (wa qala ba’du ashabina) that she is permitted to use a dildo (kir-ranj), which is something in the shape of a penis made of leather. The woman introduces it or something like it such as tiny cucumber or squash (Ibn Qayyim, Bad'i’ vol. 4, and pp. 96-7).¹¹²

Musallam adds another quotation, this time from Ibn Sina’s Qanun, the author of the most famous treatise on medicine in the world during the Medieval Age, used by Muslims and Europeans alike until the eighteenth century, to underscore the ill effects of sexual deprivation: Page 82

When men abstain from sexual intercourse, the semen accumulates, turns cold, and acquires poisonous [qualities]. The semen sends to the heart and brain harmful and poisonous fumes…. You should know that the retention of semen is extremely harmful, and may cause one of the testicles to recede.¹¹³

Muhammad Zafeeruddin Nadvi quotes a number of sources on the ill effects of sexual deprivation due to the absence of the discharge of the semen. He quotes Allama Nafeesi:

And when bursting with excitement and with a throbbing body, seminal discharge is a must, since if it is withheld and the seminal reservoir is overfull, it will stifle the body heat and weaken it. And it must ultimately come to pass that it becomes cold and make the body cold also. If retained long enough the seminal fluid becomes like fainting fits and epilepsy. The seminal fluid that is straining to come out must be provided outlet so that the tense conditions may be relieved and the body may be enabled to take food in properly.¹¹⁴

Next, Nadvi quotes Muhammad bin-e-Zakaria:

[Because of] abstinence, if continued over a long period, the nerves are weakened, production of semen (spermato genesis) is stopped and the male sex organ may become shriveled.¹¹⁵

Finally, he quotes Allama Navavi:

The demand of strong passion for sexual union sometimes becomes so overwhelming that if it is not met soon enough; it harms the body, the heart and the eyesight.¹¹⁶

Nadvi’s conclusion is:

All these opinions convince us that marriage is essential for health, since seminal fluid, if not discharged at the time when it is demanding a vent, it affects physical health along with other detriments, both material and spiritual.¹¹⁷

I am in agreement with the conclusion of Nadvi with a clarification. In order to avoid or be cured of the ill effects of sexual deprivation, as indicated above, and providing that the medical theory supporting them is correct, then it is not that "marriage is essential," it is that regular, normal, and natural sexual gratification is essential. Be that as it may, when a man is sexually gratified, its effects are wholly beneficial for human health. Nadvi quotes Allama Nafeesi again:

Sexual union enhances body heat and makes the body accept the food, makes man happy, lessens anger, keeps away filthy ideas and is helpful in the cure of so many ailments caused by the phlegm and the black bile. Abstinence is injurious for health, and those given habitually to abstinence become the victims of many diseases.¹¹⁸

In sexual gratification through sexual union resides also the secret of spiritual excellence of man. Nadvi quotes Maulana Husain Ahmad Madani’s response to a question from one of his "devotees:" Page 83

Your presumption that after marriage self-purification is not possible is not acceptable to me, since sexual union purifies the heart and cleanses the spirit. The exponent of the book of Qazi ‘Ayaz has said, ‘Every lust blackens the heart, but the act of sexual union is one that enlightens it’.¹¹⁹

But, as in all things, so in sex, moderation and/or temperance is necessary. Nadvi emphasizes it by once again quoting Allama Nafeesi: "Excessive indulgence in the sexual act enfeebles the manly vigor, damages the physique, nerves and blood vessels, producing shakiness, palsy and conclusiveness, and weakness of eye-sight."¹²⁰

The Rabat International Islamic Conference on Islam &Family Planning took note of the delay in the first marriage of Muslims, male and female, too, and discovered, to its dismay, when told by Shaikh Muhammad Mahdi Shamsuddin of the consequences of it that:

Though the requirements imposed by modern life and the long period needed for education and professional training are to some extent in some cases responsible for the rise of this state of affairs, yet we find that in many other cases there are other reasons, excluding the economic ones, which share in the responsibility for its rise.

The style of Western life which puts woman on her own and renders her easy of access and the weakening of the moral and religious restraints have increasingly led more young men to prefer to satisfy irresponsibly their sexual desires in a way that would not incur the obligation of being restricted to one wife in a settled family life.

This situation is apt to lead to the following contretemps [dictionary meaning: an inopportune and embarrassing occurrence]:

1. It lays an increasing number of girls open to vice under the urge of sexual desire unchecked as they are by the ethical and religious restraint in their search for a lawful husband; and they start to consort with boy friends who are out for easy pleasure without regard to family obligations.

2. It leads to marriages between couples of widely different ages, which entails disharmony in outlook, and consequently, engenders tension in the family relations between wife and husband.

3. The residue of the experiences of unmarried life usually casts its shadow on the behavior of the couple and on their attitudes to each other and this no doubt precludes to some extent the psychological and emotional cohesion.

The practice of delaying marriage must be combated by convenient means if the dangers arising from its continuation and spread are to be avoided.¹²¹

I agree with the above analysis. But the man, Shaikh Shamsuddin, who offered it so persuasively, had no solution to the problem of delayed first marriage to offer.

Let me cite one more Muslim source on the ill effects of sexual deprivation. Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi writes:

There is no doubt that sex is necessary for the development of the individual’s personality, and for the society as a whole. Sexual development is intimately connected with feelings of personal worth and the assurance of being loved. Sexual deprivation endangers mental health, hinders good relationships and creates inefficiency in the society. But sex can be a destructive force if not controlled and channeled through marriage. It will then be a force working against the individual,

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the institution of marriage and family, and the society as a whole. In fact, ‘sex is capable of impelling individuals, reckless of the consequences while under its spell, towards behaviour [sic] which may imperil or disrupt the co-operative relationships upon which social life depends’.¹²²

That certainly says all a Muslim can say. Indeed, it is to his credit that Marwan Ibrahim acknowledges the problem in a realistic way. Usually, Sunni Muslims do not even acknowledge the problem of sexual deprivation of the young and premarried Muslim youth, male and female, except repeating in a parrot-like manner the reported Saying of the Prophet in which he said that if you have the means, marry, otherwise fast to curb your libido. This gives no thought to the harm that sexual deprivation may cause. There is no doubt that the etiology of many medical (physiological, psychological, and psycho-somatic); social; political; economic; moral; social; cultural, and civilizational problems is rooted in sexuality, or, to be more precise, in the frustration, anxiety, disturbance, and dysfunction of one’s sexuality, or of the sexuality of a whole people in general in a particular society or community. Sexual deprivation over a period is undoubtedly the source of many a psychoneurosis of both men and women, especially of the premarrieds, unmarried, and the singles. This, I think, is quite true of Muslims. Though Muslims are and remain throughout their life obsessed with sex, it is also true that they are some of the most frustrated people—both men and women, young and old—in the world. Indeed, they are caught up in a vicious circle, whereby their obsession feeds their frustration and their frustration their obsession.

Is the Prophet’s Solution Good Enough for Our Time?

Let us be clear. The Prophet’s solution to the problem of the sexuality of the physically separated, premarried, unmarried, or otherwise single among his Companions, soldiers, and men in his army was mutah, or temporary marriage, for an agreed upon period of time and for an agreed upon wage of hire or remuneration, to be paid in cash or kind, for the purpose of sexual intercourse with her. It was a freely and mutually negotiated and entered into civil contract between a man and a woman, with or without the help of a middle man or woman, i.e., a broker, and did not require any religious officiant for the mutah marriage and, at the end of the contracted and paid for period for wife’s rendering sexual services to the man or his sexual access to her, the contract, i.e., the temporary marriage, was automatically dissolved, and the temporary husband and the temporary wife became strangers to each other and went their separate ways. They could, of course, negotiate and enter into a contract of another temporary marriage. A mutah, or temporary marriage for pleasure, could be entered into for a time-period of minutes or hours, days, months, and years, indeed for as long a period as ninety-nine years. Anyone at all—among men, both married and unmarried, and among women, virgins, widows, and divorcees, but not those currently married—was eligible for a temporary marriage. Unlike the case of nikah, or permanent marriage, in which case a Muslim man may marry up to four women only at a time, there was no fixed maximum for mutah, or temporary marriage, as to how many women a Muslim man could marry at a time. All in all, my understanding is that, whereas permanent marriage in Islam was designed to provide Muslims an opportunity both for sexual intercourse and procreation, the temporary marriage was designed to provide them only an opportunity for deriving sexual gratification as such or a change of the sexual partner, as in case of otherwise permanently and happily married men. It was ideally suited, not only to those away from home on a tour of military duty, but also those away from home on travel for social, commercial, and/or religious, as for pilgrimage to Makkah, reasons. As far as men were concerned, their marital status did not matter. But women, if they were married, were permanently disqualified from contracting a mutah, or temporary marriage, even if they were physically separated for years on end from their husband. Also, after the dissolution of a temporary marriage, even if it was for the duration of a single sexual intercourse with a temporary husband, the woman had to wait for four months and ten days, called the idda in Arabic and iddat in Persian and Urdu, to establish whether or not she was pregnant from her last temporary husband. Obviously given the nature and purpose of mutah, or temporary marriage, both the man and the woman had every motivation to use a contraceptive or birth control method or device to avoid pregnancy, but if pregnancy did occur and a baby was born, the law regulating mutah required that the temporary husband must take the responsibility for providing for the child. As would be expected, it was not uncommon that a temporary marriage and cohabitation, sex that is, led to a relationship and on to a permanent marriage between the temporary husband and the temporary wife, as happens between those who cohabit together, without the formality of mutah, or temporary marriage.

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That Islam permits mutah needs defense. The consensus among the Sunni Muslims is that Islam does not permit mutah, or temporary marriage, as I have described above. The argument is that, though the Prophet permitted it throughout his prophetic career, he forbade it at the end of it. Implicit in this opinion is the belief that, because the Qur'an did not permit mutah, the Prophet permitted it and finally forbade it on his own. And he, as the Prophet, could legislate, i.e., declare things halal, or permissible and lawful, and haram, or forbidden and unlawful, as could God. In Islam, the question whether something is moral and/or ethical, is not an independent one. Whatever is halal, or permissible and/or lawful, is moral and ethical, and whatever is haram, or forbidden and/or unlawful, is immoral and unethical.

With the opinion of the Sunni Muslims—that mutah is haram, or forbidden and/or unlawful, therefore immoral and unethical, both because the Qur'an does not permits it and the Prophet forbade it in the end—the Shia Muslims do not agree. In the opinion of the Shia, first, the Qur'an does permit mutah and, second, the Prophet did not forbid it, because it was practiced after his death during the caliphate of Abu Bakr, the first successor of Muhammad at Madinah. The second Caliph Umar forbade it, and there is the obvious question whether he had the authority to forbid, i.e., make unlawful, what was lawful according to the Qur'an and Sunnah. So much for the disagreement between the followers of the two branches of Islam, which came into being upon the death of the Prophet on account of the battle for succession among his Companions, over a matter of historical fact, which, apparently no amount of research can settle today. My personal reaction to this disagreement and the debate over it is simply this. On the one hand, if the historical thesis of the Shia is correct, mutah is, then, halal, or permissible and lawful, and, therefore, moral and ethical. On the other hand, if the Sunnis are correct, the question is why did the Prophet permit it during his entire prophetic career? If he had legitimate reasons to permit mutah for a specific purpose and under certain conditions, then why can we not do the same today for the same purpose and similar conditions? I do not want to leave ambiguity as to my opinion, for whatever it is worth. I think the purpose for which the Prophet permitted mutah was a legitimate one and the conditions under which he permitted it were compelling ones, too. If he did so as the Prophet and Messenger of Allah, then, by presumption, his judgment is to be trusted, for he always allowed the possibility to make an error of judgment as a mere man, like every other man. I do want to believe that, when he permitted mutah, he was doing so as the Prophet and Messenger of God, and further that he could possibly not have gone against the teaching of kalam Allah, i.e., Word of God, or as revealed and recorded in the Qur'an.

Iran’s Imam Khomeini describes Mutah, or temporary marriage contract, quite simply as follows: "When a woman and a man themselves want to read the (impermanent) contract’s formula it is correct if the woman, after determination of the length of period and the dowry [monetary compensation], says "I married myself to you for the specified length and the specified dowry" and the man says immediately. "I accept." And if they deputize another person and the first the woman’s deputy says to that of the man "I merchandize (make available for pleasure) my principal to your principal for the specified length and specified dowry" and then the man’s deputy says immediately "I accept that for my principal," it is correct.¹²³ According to Shahla Haeri’s research for her doctoral dissertation, Mutah is defined as follows:

Mut’a marriage is an institution in which the relationships between the sexes, marriage, sexuality, morality, religious rules, secular laws, and cultural practices converge. At the same time it is the kind of custom that puts religion and popular culture at odds. Whereas religiously there is no restriction for virgin women to contract a temporary marriage, popular culture demands that a woman be a virgin for her first permanent marriage.¹²⁴

According to Haeri’s findings, based on an extensive field study, mutah is practiced in Iran on the pattern of ijarah, or the contract of lease. Accordingly, the man leases a woman, to be precise, the use of her vagina, for intercourse, as one leases a house to live in or a horse to ride. He acquires, by virtue of and payment for its use over so long a period, the right for the use of what he leases only. Haeri points out that "as in the hiring of a person to perform a task, as for instance, one hires a cook, one cannot demand housekeeping as well, unless otherwise agreed upon."¹²⁵ I take it to mean that if and when man contracts a mutah for straight vaginal sexual intercourse, he may not demand from his temporary wife oral sex as well. Page 86

Sheikh Abrar Husain discovered the same custom and pattern of mutah, prevalent in the Shia communities in India, except that, instead of pronouncing the offer and acceptance of the contract of temporary marriage in Arabic, in which it should "preferably" be done, it is done in the local language of the people entering into mutah.¹²⁶

The crucial question is: Does the Qur'an permit mutah, or temporary marriage? According to the Sunnis, No. According to the Shia, Yes. Either opinion is based on the Sunni and/or Shia interpretation of the same verses of the Qur'an. Both are, however, in agreement that the Qur'an permits sexual intercourse with what a Muslim man’s "right hand possesses," meaning a concubine, slave girl, and/or a female captive of war. Again, it is not a question of what is moral, ethical, or in keeping with the dignity of a woman, but what is halal, or permissible and lawful, and what is haram, or forbidden and unlawful, in the Shariah, or Islamic law. Or, whereas a male Muslim may have his slave girl service him sexually, a female Muslim may not have her slave boy service her sexually—doctrinally and lawfully that is. So it is not a question what is fair, just, and reasonable either. Be that as it may, here is the case the Shia imams (included among them the great and well-known Ayatollah Ruhullah Khomeinie, as we noted above, and the distinguished religiously learned men of Iran, where mutah, temporary marriage for pleasure, is widely practiced by men of religion as well as ordinary men, and is encouraged both by the religious and governmental authorities today) make for mutah, or temporary marriage for pleasure, on the basis of the Qur'an.

Allamah Tabatabai and Sayyed Hossein Nasr, cite verses 22:5-7, 70:29-31, and 4:24 of the Qur'an in support of their opinion that the Qur'an permits Mutah, or temporary marriage, as a valid form of Islamic marriage. They write:

In the Qur'an, God says concerning the believers: ‘And who guard their modesty, save from their wives or the (slaves) that their right hands possess, for then they are not blameworthy, but whoso craveth beyond that, such are the transgressors’ (Qur'an, XXII, 5-7). Also, ‘And those who preserve their chastity save with their wives and those whom their right hands possess, for thus they are not blameworthy; but whoso seeketh more than that, those are they who are transgressors’ (Qur'an, LXX, 29-31). These verses were revealed in Mecca and from the time of their revelation until the Hijrah [migration from Mecca (Makkah) to Madinah], it is well known that mutah marriage was practiced by Muslims. If mutah marriage had not been a true marriage and women who had married according to it had not been legitimate wives, certainly according to these Qur'anic verses they would have been considered to be transgressors of the law and would have been forbidden to practice mutah. It is thus clear that since the Prophet did not forbid temporary marriage it was a legitimate marriage and not a form of adultery.

The legitimacy of the mutah marriage continued from the time of the hijrah until the death of the Holy Prophet as this verse, revealed after the hijrah, proves, ‘And those of whom ye seek content [isamata’tum, from the same root as mutah] (by marrying them), give unto them their portion as a duty’ (Qur'an, IV, 24). Those opposed to Shi’ism contend that this verse from the ‘Chapter on Women’ was later abrogated, but the Shi’i (Shia) do not accept this view.¹²⁷

My question in this regard is that if tamattau, or sexual intercourse, with a woman, captured in war, even against her will and without her consent, who might even be a married to a man of the enemy, is halal, or permissible and lawful, according to the Qur'an and Sunnah, and, therefore, moral and ethical in Islam, tamattau, or sexual intercourse, with a woman who contracts mutah, a temporary marriage, with her free and full consent should be even more so, i.e., halal, or permissible and lawful, and, therefore, moral and ethical. Perhaps, the only objection that can be leveled against the latter, i.e., mutah, or temporary marriage, may be that the woman might be doing it, though voluntarily, freely, consensually, and contractually, for money or is, at least, accepting money, and she is allowing the man to have sexual access to her and offering herself or her vagina to him and letting him have sexual intercourse with her wholly, largely, or partly—she may want sex just as much as the man—as a matter

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of a commercial deal. I think it is this aspect of mutah, which gives it the appearance of what can only be called prostitution. There are devout and learned Shia Muslim men who may be totally convinced religiously and intellectually and preach to their followers that the permission of mutah, or temporary marriage, is the "glorious law" of the Qur'an and Sunnah, and that a Muslim (male or female) who has not enjoyed sexual intercourse, at least, once in life in a temporary marriage has not lived a Muslim life. They also consider it a religious obligation of single Shia women to make themselves available for temporary pleasure marriages to God-fearing, devout, and good Shia men who yearn for a new sexual partner every now and then, besides their permanent wife; who, out of excessive need for sex, cannot get enough sex from one wife or when she is menstruating or pregnant or has just given birth and/or is suckling an infant; who have a taste for variety which even four wives do not provide after so long a time-period of being married to them; or who enjoy sexual intercourse best with young teenagers only, preferably virgin, even when they themselves are of middle age or past middle age; or for whatever other reason or reasons. To deny the opportunity to these men to fulfill themselves sexually is only to drive them into sin, in other words, adultery and fornication. But even these Shia men, as fathers and brothers, do not want to give their own young, teenage, and virgin daughters and sisters, often even the divorced and widowed women of their family, into mutah to other men, who are equally convinced of the glorious law of mutah in the Qur'an and who are as God-fearing, devout, and good as they themselves are or might hold themselves to be. I suppose what it means is that, for mutah to be institutionalized socially and regarded honorable culturally, it has to be accepted as a way of life and living by the whole community (as for instance, premarital dating and sex and cohabitation are regarded in Western society and culture and, because they are so regarded, a boy or girl, or a man or woman, is not considered any the less moral a person because he or she has engaged in premarital dating and sex and cohabits with a member of the opposite sex than one who did not) and the community does not consider the loss of virginity before the first marriage a very, very serious matter and a definite disadvantage for a girl for her first marriage. But, because sexuality in Islam has been constructed socially and culturally along a double standard of morality—hardly any demand of sexual morality for men, but a strictly forbidding and punishing one for women—the same men, who behaved sexually irresponsibly before and after their own marriage and whose sons followed in their footsteps as bachelors demand virgin brides for their sons. This state of affairs has existed in Islam from its very advent and exists today. This is a serious problem and probably an intractable one. I am afraid it has to be taken as a given, akin to the state of nature.

However that may be, according to Imam Musa Al-Sadr, under the circumstances and given "all the contingent difficulties" being experienced due to social and cultural change and upheaval, caused by economic development and modernization in the Muslim societies and the reality of life in the world around us, mutah is the safest and most convenient way to handle the problems and predicament of Muslims in the modern world. His conclusion is:

The temporary marriage authorized by Ja’farite jurisprudence and based on God’s book and the way of His Prophet is, in our view, the ideal solution to all the problems of social development in family.

Temporary marriage is marriage in the full sense, save for the difference in duration. It is the Islamic legal substitute for the modern civil marriage resorted to by people in perplexity, who are in search of a formula for a marriage suited to the circumstances of a society that is developing at a bewildering pace.¹²⁸

The Case for Mutah, or Temporary Marriage in Shia Islam

Ayotollah Murtaza Mutahheri speaks for all his learned and lay co-religionists when he says that both boys and girls are ready and desirous of sex at puberty or soon after it and, therefore, they are ready for marriage. Indeed, we saw earlier that the Prophet himself prescribed marriage at or before puberty, so that, as Muslim boys and girls reach puberty, they would already have a sexual partner to have sexual intercourse with. What could be more natural than that? In this sense, Islam is a religion in perfect accord with nature. With this no Sunni learned or lay man or woman would disagree, but says Mutahheri:

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A permanent marriage imposes heavy responsibilities and obligations both on husband and wife…. Nowadays, if you ask a 17-year old boy, whose sexual urge is at its height, to marry, he will laugh at you. The same is true of a 16-year old girl student. At this age, both the boys and the girls are unable to shoulder the burden of a permanent marriage and to accept the heavy responsibilities which ensue from it, not only the capacity of husband and wife but also in respect of the future children.¹²⁹

Mutahheri sees three alternative ways of solving the problem of the growing teenagers’—male and female—irrupting sexuality. These are 1) permanent marriage, 2) sexual communism, by which he means Western-style free and promiscuous premarital sex, and 3) fixed-time marriage, or mutah (Arabic) or sighey (Persian), meaning temporary marriage. For him, the fixed-time marriage is clearly the best and the most ideal solution to the sexuality of the premarrieds and, by extension, the unmarried and the single for whatever reason. With permanent marriage being out of the question and having rejected the first alternative, viz., "sexual communism," Mutahheri makes a case for the fixed-time marriage" as the natural, ideal, and best alternative for solving the urgent problem of the sexuality of pramarrieds especially and, by extension, of unmarrieds and singles in society generally:

The second alternative is a free fixed-time marriage. In the first instance a fixed-time marriage restricts woman to have only one husband at one time. It is obvious that a limitation of woman means a limitation of man also, whether he likes it or not. If every woman is limited to a single man, naturally every man will be limited to a single woman, except, in the case the number of either sex is far greater than the other. Thus boys and girls can pass through their period of studies without facing the ill effects of temporary hermitage, or of falling into the abyss of sexual communism.¹³⁰

For Mutahheri, a fixed-time marriage has another advantage as well. It can serve as a "trial marriage." He writes: "In principle it is possible for man and woman, who intend to marry on permanent basis but could not achieve full confidence in each other, to get married on trial for a temporary period. If they developed [sic] sufficient trust they continue their marital position, otherwise they separate from each other."¹³¹

In the Shia construction of sexuality, temporary marriage is a perfectly legitimate form of marriage, based on a civil contract of marriage. According to Shia ulama, or religious scholars, imams, and mujtahids, or those who have the authority to rule on problematic issues of religious and moral law, "the objective of temporary marriage is to provide a moral way for Muslim men, and by extension, to unmarried and/or single Muslim women only to seek sexual enjoyment—regardless of whether or not they are permanently married."¹³² In keeping with the basic double standard of Islamic law and morality, in the case of temporary marriage, too, greater rights are given to men than to women, and this is perfectly acceptable to Shia jurists. Hence, Haeri goes on to state: "Shia jurists justify the permissibility of temporary marriage on the ground of the irresistibility of sexual drives and human (read: male) nature. In their view, the individual (read: man) has the right to conclude as many temporary marriages as he likes. This, the Shia jurists argue, is the only moral and legal way to provide sexual gratification (for men) while at the same time controlling it."¹³³ As to the question of whether an unmarried woman, including a virgin, can contract a temporary marriage without the permission of her father or male guardian, the Shia consensus is that "a mature woman—nine years old or older—does not need her father’s permission to arrange a marriage for herself…[but] obtaining his permission is preferable."¹³⁴ This consensus was shared/confirmed by Ayatollah Khomeini, too, as follows: "A mature girl who is not a virgin does not need her father’s or guardian’s permission. But if she is a virgin then it is best [ihtiyat-i vajib; note he does not say that it is necessary] that she should secure his permission, unless they prevent her from marrying someone who is of her status and who is willing to marry. In that case, there is no problem if she marries without their [permission]."¹³⁵

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We may raise the question as to, beyond the Shariah formalism, what common sense justification do the Shia have for temporary marriage as a means of satisfying the human sexuality of married or unmarried persons outside the permanent marriage aimed at procreation? If I understand their point of view correctly, they justify it on the following grounds. First, temporary marriage is an alternative to "free love" and premarital fornication, as they observe these things in the Western society and culture within the context of unrestricted dating and cohabitation. Compared to this, Shia temporary marriage is a lesser evil. Second, it is an ideal solution to what the Shia call the "problem of youth." That the sexuality of youth is at its peak and most demanding during the teen years and lasting into the early twenties we all know from our own experience. It "cannot be ignored, denied, or allowed to get out of hand."¹³⁶ Hence, even when one questions the need for temporary marriage for married persons, there certainly is a need for it for premarried and the unmarried persons. Ayatollah Mutahhari makes this plain in the following terms:

The characteristic feature of our modern age is the lengthening of the span of time between natural puberty and social maturity, when one becomes capable of establishing a family…. Are the young ready to undergo a period of temporary asceticism and put themselves under the strain of rigid austerity till such time as there may arise an occasion for permanent marriage? Suppose a young person is prepared to undergo temporary asceticism: will nature be ready to forgo the formation of the dreadful and dangerous psychological penalties which are found in the wake of abstaining from instinctive sexual activity and which psychiatrists are now discovering?"¹³⁷

Mutahhari wrote the above passage in 1974. But the Iranian President, Hashimi Rafsanjani provided the same justification, in November 1990, when he wrote:

Nowadays, in our [modern] society, young people mature at the age of fifteen and sexual needs awaken in them…. Our college students are constantly exposed to the opposite sex in schools, universities, parks, buses, bazaars, and the workplace. They are continuously stimulated [by mutual proximity], but have no recourse [to satisfy their desires]. Who says this is correct? Presently, in our society, for our youth to remain pure and honorable and to respect the societal norms [of chastity and virginity] implies that they must remain unsatisfied [unable to get married] until they are twenty-five or thirty years old. They have to deprive themselves of their natural desires. Deprivation is harmful."¹³⁸

Rafsanjani went on to suggest that "if a young couple feels shy about going to a mullah to perform the rite or to register their temporary marriage, they may bypass this feature of the ritual by simply agreeing mutually to have a private contract ‘to be together for a month or two.’ He further proposed that if the performance of the marriage ceremony in Arabic is difficult, ‘the young people can recite the marriage formula in Persian and in the absence of a mullah or other witnesses.’"¹³⁹

I am not a Shia but, even as a Sunni, I entirely agree with the above reasoning and justificatory arguments in favor of the temporary marriage as a religiously, morally, ethically, and socially approved way of dealing with the sexuality of the young and the permarried and the unmarried in general both for men and women. I think what was objectionable in the practice of mutah even in the time of the Prophet and has been since is that temporary marriage was allowed to married men, separated temporarily from their wives and concubines. The problem really is that of the young and the pre-or-unmarried, such as today college and university students or those who, even if in the workforce and gainfully employed, are yet not in a position to contract a permanent marriage. The fact or the Muslim traditional and social norm of not allowing wives to work outside the home and be a source of income with the husband only intensifies their problem. I think, all in all, thoughtful Shia men and women show a very greater deal of humanity, understanding, and compassion to the predicament of the young and the unmarried than do thoughtful Sunni men and women, who tend to be taqlidi, or orthodox and traditional, to the point of simplicity, insensitivity, and idiocy. They simply fail to see the problem, which stares them in the face, i.e., the problem that delayed marriage in the Sunni society, is creating. To wit, the problem is the deprivation of sexual gratification of men and women who remain unmarried until the ages of late twenties, thirties and more. If anyone thinks that these men and women can abstain from sex until their first marriage, then it was silly for Islam and the Prophet to have ruled out celibacy as unnatural, impossible, and undesirable. Certainly, the Prophet was not inconsistent when he so ruled, because he also laid down as a

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law that the father must marry off his son and /or daughter at or before the age of puberty, failing which, if he or she commits a sexual sin, the responsibility of falls upon the father. Understandably, the Prophet permitted temporary marriage even when and if the man was away from his wife, wives, or concubines for a few days. Not only did he never neglect his own sexuality, but he also respected other people’s sexuality. I, for one, have all the respect and admiration for the Shia religious leaders who, out of their understanding, humanity, sensitivity, and compassion for the young and pre-and-unmarried, speak approvingly of temporary marriage. By contrast, I consider the Sunni religious leaders silly, because they show little understanding, humanity, sensitivity, and compassion for the young and pre-and-unmarried, when they resort to platitudes like "If you can afford to, contract a permanent marriage and be fruitful and multiply, or else fast to control your sexuality," as if that will help a young man or young woman to remain chaste and virgin until the late twenties or later when he or she marries for the first time.

Whatever one may think of the reasoning that Mutahheri brings to bear upon the problem of the sexuality of premarried and/or unmarried Muslim teenagers and young people (male and female)—I suppose the vast majority of the Sunni ulama (religious scholars), imams (clergy), and fuqaha (jurists) and lay men and women would reject it out of hand—what I find remarkable is that the Shia ayatollahs, imams, and jurists do actually wrestle with a difficult but urgent problem in an informed, thoughtful, realistic, and practical way. It is quite true that, if you seriously believe, think, expect, or exhort or admonish the young boys and girls in their middle teens to get married or counsel their parents to arrange their marriage-match and marry them a year before reaching puberty, as the Prophet admonished Muslim fathers—otherwise if they, sons or daughters, become involved in premarital sex, the sin of it would be attributed to the father—it would, indeed, be considered a laughable idea in today’s world. To say that in case one cannot marry he or she should "fast" to control his or her shahwah, or libidinal appetite, is even more laughable, when marriages are delayed until thirty or forty years of age. The sad fact is that all the talim-o-tarbiya, or Islamic education and moral instruction and upbringing, has failed over the centuries to produce certainly moral young men, who would keep themselves sexually pure and chaste until their marriage. This is easily visible in the behavior of the Muslim students who go abroad to study. I was at the University of Southern California (USC) for seven years and mixed, mingled, and socialized with great many Muslim students from the Middle East and participated in the activities of the Muslim Student Association at USC. I did not come across a single Muslim student—including those (and among them not even one in his middle or past-middle age) who were married with children and whose wives were waiting eagerly and desperately, in the characteristic Muslim style, back at home in their home country for their return)—who did not date American, particularly white, women. I think this is precisely what we should expect. In this regard, I think Mohammed Arkoun is right when he says: "When the Qur'an appeared in history, it could not modify two essential aspects of entrenched and centuries-old conditions: elementary kinship structures and control of sexuality."¹⁴⁰ Without a doubt, Muslim male sexuality has been out of control throughout Islamic history. The double standard of sexual morality has been the most outstanding feature of the history of sexuality in Islam. Be that as it may, what one has to remember and factor into his or her solution to the problem of the sexuality of the young and unmarried is that, whereas we may delay their marriage, because we want, as parents, for them to finish college, graduate school and/or medical, engineering, business, or law school, or the internship for their profession first, nature is not prepared to delay puberty or the sexual urge till they are done with all that and off to a promising and lucrative career. Education and career, Yes, but sexuality, too. Civilization and progress present a cruel dilemma between tradition and modernity indeed, and come with discontent, frustration, and unhappiness on account of insufferable instinctual deprivation, if orthodox Islam will not rethink itself.

For Shia the institutions of polygamy and mutah or sighey go together. The only difference is that the wives taken in nikah are a man’s permanent wives, though he can divorce any or all of them and get new ones, but of whom he can have up to four only at a time. By contrast, wives taken in mutah or sighey are a man’s temporary wives for the mutually agreed upon period only, as contracted with each temporary wife, but he can have as many temporary wives as he wishes at a time. Be that as it may, since both nikah and mutah (or sighey), in other words, permanent and temporary marriages are civil contracts, they are valid forms of marriage and sexual union in the alike fashion. Therefore the rationale or rationalization for both polygamy and mutah is the same. Thus, Hamid Dabashi writes:

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Man’s sexual needs are not satisfied by one permanent marriage. Thus he needs to have access to the possibility of both multiple and temporary marriages. Because man’s sexual needs are not satisfied by one marriage, his instinctual urges are better regulated and checked than satisfied haphazardly and illegally.¹⁴¹

Of course, Dabashi has spoken as a "true" Muslim. But whenever I read a Muslim, and an educated one, both in Islamic and Western learning, at that, I always wonder if these men—and they are always men—ever think about how a woman feels or thinks about a proposition such as that. For example, let me reproduce the above statement, substituting, in place of the male gender nouns and pronouns, the female gender. It would, then, read as follows (Italics added for the substitutions):

Woman’s sexual needs are not satisfied by one permanent marriage. Thus she needs to have access to the possibility of both multiple and temporary marriages. Because woman’s sexual needs are not satisfied by one marriage, her instinctual urges are better regulated and checked than satisfied haphazardly and illegally.¹⁴²

Of course, no Muslim—Shia, or Sunni, orthodox or unorthodox, conservative or liberal, fundamentalist or modernist, male or female—would ever agree to the same statement with the gender substitutions. Yet there are far more learned Muslims than I am, who swear by the Qur'an that men and women in Islam are absolutely and completely equal in all respects. Especially in the area of female sexuality, equality of the sexes is maintained under the presumption that woman’s sexuality is a dormant and/or latent one and, only when and if sought after, induced, triggered, aroused, and awakened by a man, does she want sex. Then, too, she is fully and totally satisfied, content, and happy with being the wife, or one of the wives, and one of the sexual partners of one man only, her husband or master (if she is a concubine or slave girl). Hence, it does not matter to her if he has four wives, a few concubines, and practices mutah or sighey, or temporary marriage(s), as and when the spirit, more precisely his libido, moves him. And, of course, the wife, each wife that is, is completely faithful to him, as her sole provider of sexual gratification. That, I think, is the Islamic normative doctrine. A religion, society, or culture may espouse and hold true any normative doctrine of male and/or female sexuality, but whether the Islamic normative doctrine of either male or female sexuality, or both, has a basis in the nature of human sexuality, especially female sexuality, I seriously doubt, though, having studied Accounting and Economics during my formal schooling, I cannot judge. Neither can I do so on the basis of my very limited experience of sexuality.

In this regard, Haeri writes:

The centrality of male sexuality and the clarity of Shi’i argument in favor of it stand in stark contrast to the ambivalence Shi’i scholars manifest toward female sexuality. Whereas they have debated at great length on the nature and form of different types of permissible human sexuality, they have been conspicuously mute and unreflective on matters of female sexuality. Though sodomy between males is punishable by death, in a heterosexual relation it is viewed as a male prerogative. Although many of the ulama regards as reprehensible, i. e., makruh, only a few consider it to be forbidden. Perhaps the root of the ambivalence lies in the following Qur'anic text, which has created numerous controversies: "Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate), so go to your tilth as you will."¹⁴³

Returning to the exposition of the nature and purpose of permanent and temporary marriage, as formulated by the Shia, we may take notice here of the justification of the temporary marriage on moral grounds from a couple of other sources from Iran, too. The Ayatollah Tabatabi, one of the greatest contemporary Shia scholars, writes: "Considering the fact that permanent marriage does not satisfy the instinctive sexual urges of certain men and that adultery and fornication are according to Islam among the most deadly poisons, destroying the order of human life, Islam has legalized temporary marriage."¹⁴⁴ Haeri also quotes Fahim Kirmani: "When a man sees a beautiful woman but is unable to gratify his desire, he is stricken by all kinds of physiological and psychological illnesses."¹⁴⁵ Page 92

According to the survey and study of Linda S. Walbridge in the Lebanese community in the United States, mutah, or temporary marriage, is prevalent in America, too. The Shaikhs (the imams of the mosques) were reported by young men to be saying "that the young men could have affairs with American girls as long as they formed a contract with the girl making her a mut’ee [i.e., a temporary wife taken under mutah for sexual pleasure only]."¹⁴⁶ He also quotes extensively from a book by Shaikh Abdullatif Berri, imam of a Dearborn, Michigan, Lebanese Shia community mosque, viz., Temporary Marriage in Islam, which argues in favor of mutah, or temporary marriage, and justifies its beneficence for Muslims in America. Since, according to the Shia religious law, a temporary marriage between a man and a woman, can be contracted by them privately, and outside the American law, it circumvents the American law, forbidding bigamy as well as polygamy, too. Hence, there is no bar to contracting any number of temporary marriages by both unmarried as well as married men. Shaikh Beri writes:

Isn’t corruption to let the young men and women fall in the traps of adultery, weird sex, and homosexuality? Or is it maybe to seek God’s protection, words, and his Laws of marriage and the organization of sexual relationship the corruption.

Therefore temporary marriage is one of chastity and love and a form of decency and conservatism and is not an indecency. Nor is it like the ‘friendship’ of boys and girls, which was known before Islam, and is revived by the western culture…. Temporary marriage is seen as a way of avoiding sinfulness, especially during young maturity.¹⁴⁷

Though Shah Berri "does not condemn the father who will not permit his virgin daughter to form a mutah marriage, as long as permission is denied on the grounds that he is safeguarding her well-being,"¹⁴⁸ he does condemn a brother who, while he practices mutah himself, would not allow his sister to do the same. He writes:

Is the standard that the brother accepts or rejects? Isn’t it first the satisfaction of Almighty God’s will and then the sister herself?

Or maybe the religion of God should submit to the desires of the brother and his jealousy. Anyway some brothers do accept. Also, why would a brother in many cases allow himself to do things he prevents his sister from doing? Doesn’t he do that to protect ‘himself’ from social shame? And that ‘shame’ is not it a fake and an improper one? And did it not originate from ‘tradition’ not the right sensing? If not, why then would he do things that he does not allow her to do?¹⁴⁹

Shaikh Berri emphasizes that he does not encourage temporary marriage "when continuous [permanent] marriage is available."¹⁵⁰

Linda Walbridge came across one Shia Muslim young woman during her research study, named Khadija, "who spent her school years in America wearing blue jeans and listening to rock music," who "lectured me on the virtues of mutah, which she supports 100 percent."¹⁵¹ Khadija defended mutah as follows:

Mutah is to protect society. It is for married men, but not married women because man and woman are different. Man has a much stronger sex drive. A woman isn’t always interested in sex like a man is. When a woman is pregnant or menstruating she has to refuse her husband because it is makruh (undesirable but not prohibited) to have sex during these times, at least during menstruation. After all, you can have a deformed child if you get pregnant during your period. So, a man can get a mutah. She cannot stop her husband from doing this. She should not ask him about it even.¹⁵²

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The comparison between the two forms of marriage is inevitable. I have pointed out above that a permanent marriage is contracted with the intent of marrying for life or certainly an indefinite period, for a marriage may be ended by a divorce at any time, and with the further intent of cohabitation, house-keeping, and, above all, procreation. None of it is a part of temporary marriage, whose sole purpose is lawful sexual gratification. For a fuller appreciation, I represent below in a tabular form the principal differences between the two kinds of marriages. The information has been taken and adapted from the table, prepared by Shahla Haeri.

A Comparison of Permanent and Temporary Marriage¹⁵³

Terms of Contract Permanent Marriage, Nikah Temporary Marriage, Mut'a

Type of contract	Sale (Analogically)	Lease (Analogically)
Number of wives	Four	Unlimited
Exchange of money	Brideprice, mahr	Consideration
Permission of guardian	Needed	Not needed
Witness	Required	Not required
Registration	Required	Not required
Virginity of wife	Required for first marriage	Not required
Inheritance	Each spouse inherits from the other	Neither inherits from the other
Dissolution of marriage	By divorce by either spouse	By expiration of the contract
Waiting period for wife	3 months before another marriage	45 days before another marriage
Wife's financial support	Husband must provide support	No obligation to support wife
Children	Legitimate, husband's responsibility	Same
Coitus interruptus	Wife's permission needed	Wife's permission not needed
Cohabitation	Required	Not required

Conclusions and Recommendations

I have become convinced that the Qur'an does impart the sense that mutah, temporary marriage, is a permitted thing both for men and women in Islam. To be sure, it comes attached with conditions, as is to be expected. But the essential things are that the Qur'an permits it and the Prophet and the Companions practiced it. Reportedly, Abu Bakr’s daughter Asma contracted mutah, or a temporary marriage, with Zubayr al-Sahabi and, from this union, were born two sons to the couple, viz., Abdallah ibn Zubayr and Urwah ibn Zubayr. Of course, on account of their parents mutah, or temporary marriage, they were no less legitimate than children born of permanent marriages or the Prophet’s son Ibrahim whom he fathered with Maria Qibtiya, his slave-girl, or the children who in the Prophet’s Companions fathered outside marriage with their concubines, slave-girls, and captives of war. Given the doctrinally laid down system of sexuality and, following the doctrines laid down in the Qur'an and Sunnah, the social and cultural construction of sexuality in the history, evolution, and development of the whole thrust of Islamic thought on sexuality, stressing the necessity and rationale of regular, normal, and natural gratification of sexual urges and sexual fulfillment as a fundamental human right, both of man and woman, mutah, or temporary marriage, falls in and fits, quite logically and systemically, with the nikah, or permanent marriage, and the permissibility, too, of tamattau, or sexual intercourse, with concubines, slave-girls, and the captives of war. If anything should have been haram, or impermissible and unlawful, it should have been the latter, i.e., tamattau, or sexual intercourse, with concubines, slave-girls, and the captives of war, which is clearly not only outside marriage, but in which the woman has no say whatever. Certainly, the institution of mutah, or temporary marriage, does give the woman (or her father, brother, or guardian acting on her behalf, especially if she is a young virgin, inexperienced in the ways of men, particularly predatory and sexually exploitative men) the option to accept or refuse a temporary sexual union with any man. If anything, it is mutah which comes closest to what is called consensual sex in Western culture.

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In our time for all sorts of reasons—and some of them are perfectly valid reasons, too—delayed first marriages of Muslim boys and girls, and young men and young women, are a fact of life. Notwithstanding the intent and spirit of the Qur'an and the wisdom of the Hadith, or the Traditions and Sayings of the Prophet to arrange the marriages of Muslim boys and girls a year or so before the age of puberty, it is quite unrealistic to expect that we are about to or can, in actual Muslim life and living under the present day conditions of life, arrange their marriages at or before the age of puberty. Indeed, it would be folly to do so, even if it could be possible and practical to do so. Muslim life is no longer lived at subsistence level, as was the case in the villages and small towns of the Muslim world until only half a century ago. Under the conditions of primitive and rudimentary Muslim life and living, it was perfectly feasible, even sensible and wise, to arrange the marriages of boys and girls at or before puberty. Of course, girls were often married off to much older men than they were, and the whole Islamic tradition and way of life favored it, too. When this was done—I remember a number of cases from my growing up days in my village in Uttar Pradesh in India—the marriage-match was invariably justified by the example of the Prophet who, a man in his middle fifties, married Abu Bakr’s daughter Aisha, a girl not yet of ten years of age. Certainly, these two men, Muhammad and Abu Bakr, were and are regarded by Muslims as the two worthiest of Muslims. Rich Arab men in their fifties and sixties or older, i.e., the Gulfies as they are called in Pakistan, from Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and other countries, bordering on the Persian Gulf, still go to Karachi, Bombay, and Hyderabad to marry young girls for the dowers of a few hundreds or thousands of dollars, paid to the father of the bride—all perfectly legal, according to the Shariah, or Islamic law—but it is plain that these marriages are only a façade for sex slavery in Islam even in our own day and age. To me, they are far more reprehensible than mutah, of even plain cohabitation of a man and a woman by mutual consent.

There is certainly a problem in the Muslim community today, the problem is how to handle the sexuality of Muslim singles, among whom are included, first of all and most significantly, the premarrieds (those post-pubescent males and females, who are in the high school, college, or university and pursuing their studies to prepare themselves for adult life and career), who must live in and suffer sexual deprivation for years, when their sexuality is most potent and their need for sexual gratification greatest and most urgent. They are also in the greatest danger of falling prey to medical and psychiatric ills, as a result of sexual deprivation between the ages, say, fifteen to twenty-five and to have their lives and careers marred on account of physiological, psychological, and psycho-somatic disease and symptom-formation on account of the unnaturalness of their sexual life. They may resort to opportunistic homosexuality, prostitution, excessive masturbation, illicit heterosexual sex, early and unwise marriage, alcohol, addictive drugs, any other deviancy, or a combination of them. All in all, their neurotic and driven choice may, at the very least, cause them to risk and actually lose the opportunity for education, learning, and training required for later life and decent livelihood, and certainly for building a professional career in the proper sense of the word. Having lived up to and past my middle sixties and seen and known personally more than half a dozen cases of both young male and female Muslims, I can recall in sadness some of the brightest young men and young women who missed out on their opportunities for university and professional education, because they rushed headlong into early marriages. They had all been raised as moral kids and they were, indeed or probably, more moral than was good for them. I say this because they were too moral to engage in premarital sex, get it out of their system, and get back to their schooling. No, they could not do that, so they plunged, head first, into marriage, even though it meant dropping out of school in the first or second year of college, and what with children and all coming soon after marriage, they never went back to college again. But, then, who can say that being "good" and suffering years upon years of sexual deprivation would have been better for them. In this latter category I place myself—pursuing higher education and learning under very, very difficult conditions, suffering sexual deprivation, but still being "good," until the time I was married at 34, you can read about it all in my The Autobiography of an Indo-Pakistani Student—though now I both question the wisdom of it all as well as consider my sexual deprivation to have been unnecessary after all.

Though there was/is a consistency of the world-view and the philosophy of life in the teaching of Islam and the Sunnah of the Prophet that the Muslim’s true calling is a life of obedience and worship of God, observance of piety, early marriage, children, and a simple and subsistent life, and that one need not spend long years in pursuing education and riches and success in the world, the most outstanding fact of life today is that Muslims, both men and women, do pursue education and learning for long years, and we all want to do well and want our sons and daughters to do even better than we. Consequently, delayed marriage is more the rule today. But delayed marriage also means insufferable and illness-inducing sexual deprivation, if one tries to be "good;" and anxiety, guilt, and neurotic pain, if one seeks and engages in socially disapproved and morally castigated practices to derive sexual gratification. Either way, it is a hell to endure.

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So what is to be done? I think the solution lies in the religious, moral, and social acceptance of none other than mutah, or temporary marriage, as an ideal, institutional, and ethical framework for the handling of sexuality and the need for regular, normal, and natural sexual gratification of Muslim young and premarried persons—male and female. We should not only allow but also even encourage them to contract mutah, or temporary marriages, within which they can cohabit for short or long periods as sexual partners. We should educate in the permissibility, propriety, and etiquette of it, and the sincerity and seriousness of its purpose, and the sense of responsibility with which they should and must approach it. We should impress upon both our young men and young women the uttermost need for contraception and birth control during the course of temporary sexual union under mutah and the reasons for it but, at the same time, too, impress upon them in the most certain and definite terms that, when and if a child is born of their union, they both shall have the responsibility to raise him or her, as if he or she was born as a result of nikah, or permanent marriage, and also educate and impress upon the Muslim community with all seriousness that the parental families of the young couple, even though temporarily married, would provide the same support to them and their child, as if he or she was born in a permanent marriage of their children.

Outside of some such innovation in Muslim life and living, I can only foresee a disaster in the making on account of the sexual deprivation of our premarrieds—both male and female. At any rate there is a serious problem and Muslims, certainly in the West generally and America particularly, had better devise ways and means and practical solution to the problem.

So much for the Muslim premarrieds.

But what about the postmarrieds, i.e., the divorced and the widowed who are still sexually vital, vigorous, and would like to be sexually active, even if a permanent marriage for them is problematic or out of the question for one reason or another; those who are single by choice; and the elderly—so-called senior citizens—who are alone, maybe even lonely, and still desire the companionship of the opposite sex, if not sexually, certainly conversationally, socially, psychologically, aesthetically, and more. As there is in the Chinese philosophy, so there is in the Islamic philosophy a concept of obligatory filial piety, i.e., respect, concern, kindness, compassion, and love toward the other members of the family. As parents owe filial piety to the young, especially their sons and daughters, and grandchildren; so the young, especially sons and daughters, and grandchildren owe filial piety to the old, especially to father and mother, and grandparents. Consequently, as parents and grandparents have the duty to help their children and grandchildren to find suitable partners in life and make arrangements for their marriages; so grown children and grandchildren have the duty to help their single, i.e., divorced or widowed, parents and grandparents to find suitable companions and make arrangements for their marriage or cohabitation. Loneliness is oppressive to the young and the old just the same. All human beings need companionship and a sense of being in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex in a special way. Just because children, grandchildren, and even great grandchildren surround a man or woman in old age does not mean that he or she is not lonely, if and when he or she does not have a soulmate. Especially, in the Islamic context, there arises a problem on account of the segregation of the sexes, too. A postmarried (divorced or widowed) may even have the need of, for example, employing some one of the opposite sex to help him or her with cooking and cleaning, or shopping for groceries, especially when and if he or she is living alone. Under what terms, may an older man retain a live-in maid or an older woman a live-in man-servant, given the impermissibility and strictures in orthodox Islam on the cohabitation or being under the same roof alone, of a man and a woman, including the elderlies? I think under these circumstances, when a permanent marriage between persons in this predicament presents insurmountable problems, a mutah marriage is the ideal arrangement.

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All things considered, mutah, or temporary marriage, provides the ideal solution for the need for companionship and cohabitation of the elderly, or our senior citizens, too. As the Muslim family becomes increasingly nuclear—and it will as time goes by—the problems of the postmarrieds, the singles, and the elderly, or senior citizens, are only going to grow and become acute. More and more, they will be expected and forced to care for themselves in the conditions of life that exist in America. Beyond the economic problems, their social, psychological, cultural, and aesthetic problems are only going to become even more trying, even painful. As in the case of the elderly of other communities, loneliness would become their foremost emotional need. Unfortunately, as in the case of the young, so in the case of the old—widowed, professionally retired, socially dis-engaged, virtually abandoned by children, even when and if for the best of reasons and/or the reasons that cannot be helped—permanent marriage is neither usually advisable not desirable. Hence, mutah, or temporary marriage, in their case, too, is the ideal solution.

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